Thursday, July 22, 2010
sometimes, i fantasise to a huge extent, cos i fantasise a lot of things, a lot of scenarios, a lot of what-ifs, just so much till my brain can burst liao
i think about many ppl and start to think about my past...
it seems so wonderful during sec sch, strangely, i think that when i was in amkss 45/08, i seem to be able to confide my troubles to my friends, regardless of male or female friends. right now, i just have the feeling that there is a barrier surrounding me, and i just won't tell everything to ppl around me, it's not their problem, it's my problem. though i talk a lot, it really doesn't mean everything......
thus, one wish of mine is to go back to sec sch life, but seeing how many ppl are enjoying life now (well, that's what i think) not everyone may share the same thought as me...
in the past, whenever i failed, i take the 'i don know what happened' strategy, pretending that nothing has ever happened
right now, maybe i have to resort to this
maybe i shld be just a bit braver, say hi to you during phy lec (or any other time when i see u)
but will u say hi back, maybe u will, but in the very 勉强 manner, then u may just hurry off
or if i sms u, u may just ignore it, or reply also in a 勉强 manner
i seriously wan to pour all my troubles
but my personal barrier is preventing me from doing so
in sec sch, this has nvr been the problem
now, it is...
也许我可以当妳是陌生人,但是一想起妳, 我会感到难过. 一看到妳, 我会感到很无助. 我想鼓起勇气跟妳说话, 但是, 我害怕, 我怕你的反应,会让我更难过.
我真的不想这样, 但是...
妳会知道我的感受吗
也许妳根本都不在乎
对, 应该是这样把, 你(不需要)在乎...
::9:50 PM
