Friday, August 27, 2010
hmmm, study...
so far have been studying after sch every day, cos truncated timetable started, and has lots of free time, anw, if go home i would most likely play ds or sleep, so i rather study...
but unfortunately, the effectiveness has been limited :( must learn to stay focused :)
stick to my study plan, and everything will work out, i hope :)
and my ankle's getting better, seriously :) i can feel it, can move about like before, but must rest more la :)
and i just realised, as much as i wanted to blog, life isreally just study study and study, nothing to blog la :(
but teacher's day celebration is coming, can't wait. cos i wan to see the teachers' face when 0109 gives them the frames :) FRAMES FTW :)
and i can't wait to go back to amkss :) god knows when would i ever have the chance to go back there again, must go back, talk some cock, and hope to catch up with 4/5 ppl
but i think i can foresee what will happen !@#$%^&*
"sorry, not free"
"don feel like going back, wan study"
"alr have appointments with friends"
somehow, these 3 comments would most likely be heard by me on tue, it's just a gut feeling, i thought it IS a pact to soar as one, well, IS -> WAS liao
so screwed up :(
if they know i changed to my current persona, the beng, would they believe?
maybe a string of hokkien will do the trick
anw, gonna do counting next tue, this time, i think 2 hands and 2 legs will do it :(
WHERE'S THE LOYALTY AND THE BOND!!! :(
::11:27 PM
Saturday, August 21, 2010
ok, followers of my blog shld know that my blog is words-only...
hmmm, i should have changed that policy, cos if i did i would have taken pics of the buffet i went
went to eat buffet to celebrate pa's 44th bday. the buffet is at ponggol and is very ulu ulu de, sakura buffet.
and their food there is damn shiok ah, i could have finished off all their sushi, but needed to make room for their meat :)
cos that place is non-halal, so got pork, and their pork satay is nice to eat, compared to beef satay, pork wins hands down
and they got bak kwa also leh, although the texture loses out to xiang wei and mei zhen xiang, the flavour is on par leh, shiok :)
and their sushi uses something that i either rarely eat or never see before, so, i ate a considerable amount of sushi, although i should have eat less, i wanted to eat more la :)
their ice cream isn;t that bad either, prawns not bad, skewered sotong is ok ok, fish meat is good to eat.
aiyah, should have taken images,now can only use memory, sian... :(
then today is to coop myself at home. study and do housework
and with my injured ankle, it isn't that easy to do vacuuming today, couldn't squat that easily, so took some extra time.
i wish my ankle can recover soon, can walk, can stand on left leg, but will still hurt a bit la, sian :(
dinner was great, went to khatib to eat and ate my favourite yong tau foo there :)
reason why i like their yong tau foo is because they separate the fried stuff from the soup stuff, and i like their fried stuff anyway, taste good, thought their soup is ordinary, this nice act and their fried food just earned them a satisfied customer :) cos many ppl would just lump all the stuff with the soup and their fried stuff will just become soggy, so, gonna eat there soon :)
gonna wake up early tmr to study first, wasted too much time today, study is impt now
cos i just received the email from the teaching internship programme, the registration wanted to look at the prelim results, so, must study even harder to make it to the internship programme
but i worry, even though they extended the sign-up-by date, i scared i won't get back my prelim results by 10 oct, if that happens, screw aj man
but i think won't happen la, aj won't be that slow :)
but sad thing is that amkss and ajc not in the internship programme, so i won't get to teach in there if i get selected :(
i really want to teach at my alma maters so, gotta work damn hard, for my future :)
i think... 我相通了......
::11:48 PM
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
haix..... i'm now a sick bird...
sprained my ankle during pe, thanks to the track, cos they have some metallic something, i don know what is it, and i sort of like tripped over it. it wasn't painful at first, i could still play handball, run a bit, walk normally, go gym.
then after that, it just got worse, damn pain, swell liao, ppl see alr say i got te kah, sian la, now i walk will pain a bit... :(
my ah pa then go and perform 跌打 on me, i think it's written like that la, and i screamed like hell la, so damn pain, tried to endure and i just cannot make it... :(
and handball was terrible today, scored 0, lost 6-0 in the opening, what a stinking session
so i need to recover and play next week real soon, given my current ankle prob, next week's gym session would most likely be cancelled, hope i can go for next wed's self imposed session. :)
yeah, i feel that my upper body strength is getting better, i can pull heavier weights, the bench press is getting better, now i just need to work on leg strength and muscles (arm and stomach) to finish it up
by then, my goal would have been achieved, and it would be something i always wanted... :)
after sch also went to make the photo frame for jean lee
and we had a rather fun time, ok, my group consists of yibin, yun hui, elvina, amirah, ying yun, me and jia min, ok la, last one no count, haha :)
but seriously, when we really went to work, it was a good session, the ideas just kept on flowing, the sincerity is there, the humour isn't lacking, and i think although jean lee's other class may not want to take the job of doing her photo frame, well, i don care, that class pissed me off for a while, cos i initially thought that every class has to do 3 frames, and when yibin told me that our class is the exception, i just felt pissed for a while, stress on the 'a while' after all, i don mind doing for jean lee, she is a good chem teacher, she made my chem good, though i normally tend to doze off, ooops :)
so, i hope the frame could come out well, and she would be happy to see what we wrote, haha :)
and my ah ma said that everyday will have screaming session, PAIN AH!!!!! :(
facebook tells many stories, all the info could be threaded into one. it isn't wise to say so much...
::10:30 PM
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
yeah, had some personal mini achievements recently
started from monday, no. of chin ups improved by 1, now stands at 6, ok la, some more to hit my target of at least 8, but i feel good about it can liao la, i feel that the gym sessions are working out :)
unfortunately, no one cleared napfa during monday, so, i just wan to say that ultimately, it lies within oneself whether u wan to clear napfa, if u wan it, u first have to believe in it, and work for it. i have to work like crazy la, and that's the damn truth
gonna go gym tmr, either after pe or before gp timed prac, what about both? i don mind leh :)
i just realised the hatred for u and against myself subsided
i now feel rather neutral liao
then the hatred for my failure has also subsided
now i don care liao
the plane need not make its landing anymore
i'm ok le
i think...anyway, i can't wait for pe tmr
can play handball. and ppl shld see me play handball, it's like during 4/5 captainball days, an arena where 4/5 ppl could show off... :)
gonna be top scorer tmr :)
seriously, i need to stop wasting all the free time i usually have
I GOTTA START STUDYING, AND THE ENVIRONMENT CANNOT BE AN EXCUSE WHY I CAN'T STUDY!!!
::11:00 PM
Sunday, August 15, 2010
oh my gosh, haven't been updating for days liao :(
but life recently is still ok la, not so hiong like previous weeks
and i think my form could be peaking soon
gonna do what i always wanted to do
futuretopstudent
and when i do that, treats to anyone i deem fit :)
cos today's productive level is so-so
read econs and felt sibei pek chek, cos i was reading how to measure economic growth and SOL, and like the same thing throughout leh, especially the behind portions, so, sian la
but that notes still understandable, so ok
morning did physics, finished up waves, oscillations and superposition
and i think those 3 chapters will still screw me up, so, hope for the best when prelims come
doing top jc prelim papers only made me feel more worried and more kan chiong
so, gonna do my best and not let my blog down... :)
and went gym on both thur and fri
ok la, i think i not hiong yet
when truncate timetable starts, i'm gonna make it 3 times a week, mon wed and fri
in fact, between phy extra lessons and gym, i pick the latter
cos i don wan my breaks to be taken away
i plan my own schedule, my life
it's my life......
so, gonna sleep soon, have to work tmr, everytime i go there i would tell myself, time to be positive and do my best
although the outcome may not be ideal, i promise to see out my contract (ok la, no contract actually) and teach them till their exams their over
that means i end in oct, and while ppl spend their sundays preparing for A levels, i spend it preparing for p5 and sec 2 exams, so, hope i can strike the balance, and end p everyone scores well :)
actually, i utilise time well, spend the in between waiting time to go study, so, it's a good thing
i'm trying very hard to delete u from my mind
but ppl always mention about it, and the memories resurface
argh, i hate myself
why is it so hard to forget, so easy to remember
i wish i can forget some nightmares permanently
there were so many mistakes in life, so many wrong moves
so many horrifying experiences, so many failures
i want to delete them all
yet i can't, they will only be there to serve as life's lessons
there are 2 sides to a coin
u may see it this way
i see it the another way
so i shld start learning from past's mistakes
and create a better future
although ultimately i still wish for time travel
and redirect my life like the way i wanted it
re-script, re-film
3,2,1 time's up
stop living in ur fantasies
and face the real world
-_-by the way- TNA wrestling rocks
support motor city machine guns!!! :)
best tag team in the business :)
::12:45 AM
Monday, August 9, 2010
hmm, so i changed the image that i've been using for 2+ years, thanks to that picture for such long service, now this new picture gonna last for some while, before i go search for better ones!! :)
looking for nice images is not the problem, trying to fond the right one is the problem, cos i don wan change the skin, thus i need an image that suits the skin :)
and tada :)
so i really love Chelsea FC a lot :) nothing's gonna change my love for u :)
so what we lost the com shield, relax la, gonna win many trophies this season :)
i know we can :)
so i did studying these past days, haix if it was last year i would have wanted to go out and play, now have to study at home -_-
finished econs case study today, need to finish essay soon !!!
and need to catch up with my J1 physics :/ if not die liao :(
tmr gonna do lots of stuff, and i miss sch (again...)
oh no, the feeling's back
the feeling of loneliness is beginning to creep back
maybe i miss 0109
miss the fun things i could do everyday
all the rubbish we could talk
but come this wed, i must apologise
i planned liao
morning, when she reach sch and sits down, i'm gonna just straightaway say sorry for the use of such abusive language
wel, what could i say, say it's ur fault
nah, i think it's mine...
but is this the right way
i hope she forgives me for such ah beng ways
hope for the best......突然间, 我觉得你很可恶
是我的问题...
看你身边的人与评语
恨不得想把你们干掉 (wanted to write something more sadistic)
原来, 友谊是不值钱的
但是
友谊是我最在乎的东西
一天是朋友, 一身是朋友
所以
年底计划, 将会重新考虑
该不该写呢? 考虑一下吧...
但是
要是我不认识你就好了
少麻烦, 少痛苦
i hope u ppl know what the long gaps in between paragraphs mean
it means a new story, a new issue to talk about
so does fonts in italic
::8:23 PM
Friday, August 6, 2010
OMG!!!!!!!!!!! 100th post!!!! :)
can't believe that my blog can last till the 100th post, when ppl can take very fast to reach this landmark, i took like years.... :(
hmmm, ytd night had a very strange dream... a scary dream
it was an outing, class outing with 0109, ok la, more of a clique outing cos only they appeared in my dream, then we had to go somewhere, then while getting on as car or something i needed to go somewhere else, so i left for a while, but when i went back there they were alr on the car, looking at me and just drove off!!!!
in that dream it was scary as they were looking at me with no expression. somehow, i think shouted them to wait for me. i ran after them for about 10 secs and they were gone..... well after that this dream ended, so yeah...
but overall, it was scary leh. when i woke up and thought about this dream, it just felt scary, like feeling alone..... and this feeling is like a negative energy, it saps ur lifeforce away...
but this feeling was really weird, the clique just abandoned me, and it was really weird. loneliness is a scary thing, i don wan that...
so sch today was ok ok la, concert was ok, staje's recital of the speech was ok, though i still don understand why the j1s had to do this??? let me guess, repay your dues... yeah...
teacher's performance ftw la :)
after that, watched salt at amk. hmmmm, i always knew that i am not leadership material, so today was bad as i tried to get things going, but it's like destined to fail leh... -_- but the movie wasn't that bad. although the ending seemed abrupt, i felt that the twist wasn't bad, but it's like trying to cram too many plots into the movie, they shld have ended it earlier, not like that.
watched the movie with the 2 class couples cos wei shun and raymond, the so-called 'gay couple' (sounds damn wrong, i know) cos they share the same bdays, didn't wan to watch. and it felt weird, like the odd one out, great, the guys can show their generosity by paying for another ticket, i just have to fend for myself...
and in the end, i screwed up the whole day cos i failed to apologise for that outburst of words, shit la, ppl pressure me to at least explain myself, how, next opportunity comes next wed, how???
i can't just start with a "hey, i am sorry" right? so weird. so what do i say???
die la, pressured la...
i always say unity is impt, now i am screwing things up...
stupid me... me and my big mouth
so today, i swore not to swear. took me some time to get this statement right after the clique made fun of my language, but i swore not to, and i will try to...
this has been happening some time liao (seperate incidents from above-mentioned)
i was thinking the stupid things i done these past 1 year 8 months
just 1 year ago, i self-proclaim myself to be dead after the screwed up attempt, when i thought it was game over...
but i managed to salvage the friendship in the end, heng ah :)
i was thinking of what people said about my mistakes, my flaws, at first i didn't understand that well, but all of a sudden, this past week, i saw the light. i understood why i failed terribly last year
then i unknowingly thought about this year, when the story just repeated itself again... haix...
marcus told me before le, many told me before le, hmmm, looks like taurus-stubborn... can't be changed
but enough of that, i can't think about that right now, top of the list is how to apologise to her, then next is the study plan this long weekend... many things to do and many notes to read
after this update will most likely go to sleep, muscles aching... don know why...
seriously, this 100th post is like a personal achievement, shld i continue this site??? well, it has been working as i managed to plot out my personal thoughts better. this place is where kenneth=kenneth and not some other equation. i feel myself here, able to pour out all my thought (including this one)
but many ppl's blogs are rotting/private. many blog occasionally, ok to be fair is only recently that i blogged almost frequently, and yet is also this study period that many stopped blogging...
i oppose the trend,so it's time to change...
last note, gonna ensure i go aj gym regularly, if not i can say byebye to pullups and a good body...
JIAYOU!!!!!!!!!!! :D
::10:46 PM
Thursday, August 5, 2010
ok, lets just be honest with myself
today started really bad, real bad, i don know what happened to me, but i really felt that maybe that comment shldn't have been made, cos i felt that i wasn't being loud.
great, now i have to think about how to explain myself, when i thought about it, now i think that it's more of my fault, but why am i thinking this way??? i didn't feel that way when i said those 'words'. just felt that maybe that comment shldn't have been said, now leh, i don know what to do liao. say sorry? how??? like a bit awkward leh.
so how the heck do i say sorry to people, when it is me that had hurt them seriously, especially girls, i think the words just cannot come out leh. great, how ironic, people expect me to say everything, now i'm stuck at 3 words. I AM SORRY......
hopeless.........
i shld stop swearing liao, i admit, i was willing to be influenced, but now i have to be firm, i gotta cut down on swearing... it's like a bad habit, a drug, easy to get addicted, difficult to shake off... deadly
this future teacher here gotta stop now, needs to be firm, repent...
JIAYOU...
ok, so about sch, thursdays now shld be my favourite days, no lectures, have meaningful tutorials, haha, partly because today's tutorials don have physics, if not thursdays' value will plummet. anyway, though we have gp lectures, now gp lectures for me is like tutorials, due to banding
and today's gp was so disappointing!!! ok, maybe expectations were raised due to previous 2 weeks of enriching lessons, and when 0109 guys warned me about that teacher's lame lessons, i still harbored a faint glimmer of hope that the lesson will be meaningful, as it turns out, the lame jokes made > the effectiveness of the lesson. i wanted to learn compre skills lor, now leh, have to resort to remembering all the things that choy said... haix, wished i had the study mood months ago and not like, recently. regrets...
econs remedial was gg, 1/20 for concept test, haha, wel, i was sleepy, lazy. but i will study hard, serious, right now, i target to complete either the case study or the essay by this weekend, hope i can tahan!!!
tmr half day, hope i can watch the last airbender, actually, i would be willing to waste the money to see how badly screwed up the movie is. ok, u will have high expectations due to the wonderness of the show, so will i get disappointed, i hope not.
come this sat, CHELSEA VS MAN U for com shield, well, go chelsea, start the season with a shield!!! :)
something i wanted to put here but i keep forgetting :)
CHELSEA 2010-2011 :)
No. Country Position Name 1 Czech Republic GK Petr Čech
2 Serbia DF Branislav Ivanović
3 England DF Ashley Cole
5 Ghana MF Michael Essien
6 Portugal DF Ricardo Carvalho
8 England MF Frank Lampard (vice-captain)
9 Argentina FW Franco Di Santo
10 Israel MF Yossi Benayoun
11 Côte d'Ivoire FW Didier Drogba
12 Nigeria MF John Obi Mikel
15 France MF Florent Malouda
16 England MF Scott Sinclair
17 Portugal DF José Bosingwa
18 Russia MF Yuri Zhirkov
19 Portugal DF Paulo Ferreira
20 Portugal MF Deco
21 Côte d'Ivoire FW Salomon Kalou
22 England GK Ross Turnbull
23 England FW Daniel Sturridge
24 Serbia MF Nemanja Matić
26 England DF John Terry (captain)
33 Brazil DF Alex
39 France FW Nicolas Anelka
40 Portugal GK Henrique Hilário
41 England DF Sam Hutchinson
42 England DF Michael Mancienne
43 Netherlands DF Jeffrey Bruma
44 France FW Gaël Kakuta
45 Italy FW Fabio Borini
52 Netherlands DF Patrick van Aanholt
Not forgetting Ramires who's gonna come soon!!!
GO Chelsea!!! win as many trophies as possible
i wanna see the champions league triumph next year, may!!!
ok, maybe i shld change my blogskin soon, instead of 2004's triumph, i shld change it to 2010's triumph!!! :)
gonna ask meiyen to help me, after all, she was the one that designed this :)
每次看到你说你会孤独, 说没了他你会寂寞
我只能想, 要是我耐心一点, 一切就不一样了.
以上内容与你有共鸣
我能够拿出勇气, 跟你亲口说声对不起吗?
每次我都在想, 要是我听从朋友的劝告, 慢慢来
现在我应该会很开开心心的过活吧?
会修身养性, 会过的安康
自作孽就是自作孽
我本来想成为一个能够陪在你身边的一个人
看似简简单单的一个任务, 竟然会被我摧毁
能够默默的关心你, 本来是我的荣幸
现在呢?
失望....
是对自己失望.....
::11:00 PM
Monday, August 2, 2010
heyhey, today is a good day, cos yours truly just cleared napfa and can officially skip pe from now on
but i did counted, i only have one afternoon pe left. only get to skip one, sian...
anyway, i did my pull ups under lim kok wee leh, if he say i can means i really can lor, haha,so don say i cheated or something!!!
anyway, it feels damn good to finally cleared napfa, on my bday i still can't do one, now i can do 5, in nearly 3 months i improved by 5, yeah!!! thanks to everyone who encouraged me all the way :)
today at sch:
gp: teacher didn't come, so just did work as usual
econs lec: wah, this one is so what the heck man, it started ok, just listening and copying, then another teacher too over, talked about trade and bop, and all of a sudden, while she was explaining what makes up BOP, she just said, this is especially for 0109 who do not know what makes up BOP, wah, the teacher zai lor, say the whole class until like that, come on la, top in econs is in our class leh, so we can't be that bad ma ._.
chem was also damn paiseh, also originally just listening, then i just asked the teacher why he skipped one part, then he said this qn has been gone thru so many times, when u study must 温故知新, wah, kena suanned so badly, he win liao lor.
phy was lalala session, i just read lec notes on my own, sian la, seriously, my physics how!!! and there's going to be a timed prac this wed, but i'm going to use donate blood as an excuse, heck care la!!! :)
phy lab was just like that, did planning and imprved by a little bit.
but today because i cleared napfa, i am so damn happy!!! gonna be happy for quite some time lor!!!
and i realised, i haven been feeling emo for these past few days!!! hmmm, it feels good to be happy everyday!!! :D
gonna stay happy like this till As, hope i can sustain this mood throughout!!! :D
::9:47 PM
Sunday, August 1, 2010
hmmm, jason told me to sleep early tonight, said it will make a difference whether i can pass napfa or not
but i have been slacking on the com too much, and wasted my afternoon playing TNA on my DS, sian.. i shld have studied...
and no, i would not lock my ds up (for anyone who's thinking of that right now) :)
this morning overslept by about 20 mins, reached ganesh's house late, so started late lor. then zong you came cos he didn't come ytd, and thus we left tgt
and today i really thought about this qn, "should i stop giving tuition and use this time to study???"
i really don know the ans leh. right now, this tuition job gives me a stable monthly income, though it's not much la, but i used that to pay for my A levels. and if i really stop giving them tuition now, who's going to ensure they pass their final years?
alr i have to find new tutors for them next year, after i go in army, they need new teachers.
and if i don give tuition, chances are, i may play my ds instead, or daydream, but i think i would still study la
previously i had 2 days off, and i used tose 2 days to study felt accomplished that 2 days, and with my study mode back, i think i would study instead
so how??? to work or not to work???
anyway, gonna go offline soon, will most likely do some work first before i go to sleep
i wan to pass napfa tmr badly, i can't wait for tmr, i hope everything goes well...
please bless me strength :)
study study study!!!
::10:35 PM
