Friday, August 6, 2010
OMG!!!!!!!!!!! 100th post!!!! :)
can't believe that my blog can last till the 100th post, when ppl can take very fast to reach this landmark, i took like years.... :(
hmmm, ytd night had a very strange dream... a scary dream
it was an outing, class outing with 0109, ok la, more of a clique outing cos only they appeared in my dream, then we had to go somewhere, then while getting on as car or something i needed to go somewhere else, so i left for a while, but when i went back there they were alr on the car, looking at me and just drove off!!!!
in that dream it was scary as they were looking at me with no expression. somehow, i think shouted them to wait for me. i ran after them for about 10 secs and they were gone..... well after that this dream ended, so yeah...
but overall, it was scary leh. when i woke up and thought about this dream, it just felt scary, like feeling alone..... and this feeling is like a negative energy, it saps ur lifeforce away...
but this feeling was really weird, the clique just abandoned me, and it was really weird. loneliness is a scary thing, i don wan that...
so sch today was ok ok la, concert was ok, staje's recital of the speech was ok, though i still don understand why the j1s had to do this??? let me guess, repay your dues... yeah...
teacher's performance ftw la :)
after that, watched salt at amk. hmmmm, i always knew that i am not leadership material, so today was bad as i tried to get things going, but it's like destined to fail leh... -_- but the movie wasn't that bad. although the ending seemed abrupt, i felt that the twist wasn't bad, but it's like trying to cram too many plots into the movie, they shld have ended it earlier, not like that.
watched the movie with the 2 class couples cos wei shun and raymond, the so-called 'gay couple' (sounds damn wrong, i know) cos they share the same bdays, didn't wan to watch. and it felt weird, like the odd one out, great, the guys can show their generosity by paying for another ticket, i just have to fend for myself...
and in the end, i screwed up the whole day cos i failed to apologise for that outburst of words, shit la, ppl pressure me to at least explain myself, how, next opportunity comes next wed, how???
i can't just start with a "hey, i am sorry" right? so weird. so what do i say???
die la, pressured la...
i always say unity is impt, now i am screwing things up...
stupid me... me and my big mouth
so today, i swore not to swear. took me some time to get this statement right after the clique made fun of my language, but i swore not to, and i will try to...
this has been happening some time liao (seperate incidents from above-mentioned)
i was thinking the stupid things i done these past 1 year 8 months
just 1 year ago, i self-proclaim myself to be dead after the screwed up attempt, when i thought it was game over...
but i managed to salvage the friendship in the end, heng ah :)
i was thinking of what people said about my mistakes, my flaws, at first i didn't understand that well, but all of a sudden, this past week, i saw the light. i understood why i failed terribly last year
then i unknowingly thought about this year, when the story just repeated itself again... haix...
marcus told me before le, many told me before le, hmmm, looks like taurus-stubborn... can't be changed
but enough of that, i can't think about that right now, top of the list is how to apologise to her, then next is the study plan this long weekend... many things to do and many notes to read
after this update will most likely go to sleep, muscles aching... don know why...
seriously, this 100th post is like a personal achievement, shld i continue this site??? well, it has been working as i managed to plot out my personal thoughts better. this place is where kenneth=kenneth and not some other equation. i feel myself here, able to pour out all my thought (including this one)
but many ppl's blogs are rotting/private. many blog occasionally, ok to be fair is only recently that i blogged almost frequently, and yet is also this study period that many stopped blogging...
i oppose the trend,so it's time to change...
last note, gonna ensure i go aj gym regularly, if not i can say byebye to pullups and a good body...
JIAYOU!!!!!!!!!!! :D
::10:46 PM
